Shades of Michelle

My Christmas gift to you.  Enjoy!

Venturing out of the comfort zone
Everyone has a talent.
What is rare is the courage
to follow the talent to the
dark place where it leads.
– Erica Jong

One of the biggest enemies of accomplishment is comfort. Most people are so attached to being comfortable, that they’re just not willing to do what it takes to succeed. Meeting people, learning new skills, presenting your ideas, taking risks, working hard — these are all very uncomfortable, and all very necessary for success.

You must decide whether you want a life of comfort or a life of accomplishment. You can have anything, do anything, and be anything you want, if you’ll just step outside your comfort zone and take the actions that need to be taken.

Look at the things you do each day and ask yourself why you’re doing them. Is it because they’re familiar, and comfortable, and secure? Are you anxious about venturing outside of your cozy comfort zone? Are there things you avoid doing because they might cause you some discomfort?

Accomplishment requires that you step outside of your comfort zone. The good news is that when you venture beyond the borders, your comfort zone expands. Success in one area of your life will give you more confidence in everything you do. Don’t let yourself get too comfortable. A short time of discomfort is far better than a lifetime of regret.

– Ralph Marston

Make it a great year!

~Love, Michelle~

They say bad things come in threes, and for that I am grateful. Because if one more thing went wrong in the past few months, I might have just given up. My poor son came down with a lung infection and had a really bad asthma attack. He spent five days in the Children’s Hospital in complete isolation. While I was staying with him overnight, a random “Act of God” decided to bust a water mane in my condo building and flooded my home. I spent 6 weeks crashing on friend’s couches until I found myself a new home. While I was homeless I lost my wallet. Last but not least, as soon as I moved into my new place my boyfriend and I broke up. Wait a second… that’s four things! Whatever, superstitions are ridiculous anyway.

So, the “Law of Attraction” has obviously bitch-slapped me and decided to strip me down to nothing for a while to show me how much I have to be grateful for. At least I think that’s the lesson. Anyone else have an idea? Maybe I got cocky? Maybe karma kicked in? Maybe life all balances out, and you have to get some good with the bad? Maybe it’s a lesson for all of you to get house and health insurance? Maybe I’ll find the answers in box of cracker jacks… I don’t know, but I’m really drained.

It’s been a month since I moved in, and the movers still can’t find the contents of my linen closet, they broke my brand new bed frame and, of course, my brand new dinner table.  Looks like they’ll be buying me a lot of new things for Christmas!  They have been the worst and most incompetent part of this whole process.  Oh, and let’s not forget my landlord of the condo building who found somewhere in the ten page lease agreement that the owners should be “indemnified of any losses if the unit should become uninhabitble”.  Which translates into “Hey, sucker, I don’t care if you can’t live here, you still have to pay me rent until your 60 days notice is up!”  The movers and the douchebag landlord: two people on Santa’s naughty list this year.  Are we up to six things now?  Maybe bad things come in groups of three?

Anyway, I’m tired… and ready to put this year behind me.  2010 anyone?  I’m more than ready for an entirely new decade to begin!

Take care everyone, and Happy Holidays

Love,

Michelle

P.S.  My wallet was eventually returned to me, with the cash still in it.  There are good people out there still in this city.  I have faith.  And if I ever find that person who handed in my wallet, they can have all the cash.  They deserve it!

I believed in the law of attraction before, but now I have no doubt that it does actually work.  Here are some recent examples from my life in the past month:

My next big goal in life was to write and record songs.  So, out of the blue a friend of mine asked me to do just that for a CD he was asked to produce, not knowing how much I really wanted to do that.  He just needed some vocals to add to his music.  And so it was. I have written and recorded vocals to my first song, which my friend then mixed and produced.  The song, along with another track he added my vocals to, will put to print and released in December. How many people out there get the opportunity to have their very first song ever written published and released?  I feel very fortunate.It gets better…

Just when I decided to get serious about singing again and to lose some weight I won a free year membership to Goodlife gym!  There really is something to it, it’s more than just luck…

~All the best~  Michelle

Summer seems to have come and gone, and it’s been an eventful one.  To begin with I decided that it was time to get rid of my car. It was turning out to be a money pit. After sinking a lot of dough into it, I decided it would be more cost efficient to buy a new car with a warranty… And maybe at least one power feature?! So in early July I drove away with a new 2009 blue Honda civic sport sedan, and I absolutely love it. Having a key fab in itself is a huge treat, but a sunroof, iPod hookup, cruise control, power everything? It’s luxurious, like night and day in comparison to my other car. It adds a lot of happiness into my day, and I’m sure my son likes not being shaken up every time we’re stopped at a red light. Plus I don’t have to rent a car when I need to take a road trip. It was well worth the money. I won’t be regretting that decision anytime soon.

The very next day after getting my new car I hopped on a plane to go on a family trip. My mother, aunt, sister and I took a week long cruise of the Mediterranean. We started out in Venice, hit Split Croatia, Athens, Katakalon and the Greek islands Corfu and Mykonos. Needless to say, that didn’t suck. I’m pretty sure Mykonos is the Greek word for heaven, just in case you’ve ever wondered. You need to go there before you die… and try the souvlaki and moussaka. It’s amazing!

I bought a really sweet guitar and have started taking lessons. I’ve also found a really good vocal coach who is willing to give lessons at my house when I have my son there. I’m excited to get back into music again.

I had a great trip to Maine as well with my son.  My sister rented a cottage right on the ocean with its own lighthouse.  It was so great!  We went kayaking on the ocean, picked mussels right out of the water for dinner, saw crab races, ate the biggest lobster I’ve ever seen, just a great time all around.

As for my relationship with my boyfriend, it is still going. I’m still testing the waters with him. He treats me amazingly well, but I’m not sure if he’s really ready for the kind of relationship and responsibility that I’m looking for in a partner. He says he is, but I’m suspicious that it might be just lip service. And no, he does not read this blog as far as I know… if he does I will probably find out soon enough. :-0 I took him to Maine to meet my best friend and that went really well.  He’s met my entire family by now as well. He’s a really sweet guy, and my son really likes him too. I just don’t want to rush into anything serious right now, and I definitely don’t want to commit to anyone unless I’m sure that he is THE one.  So for now, the best I can say is, we’ll see….

Hope everyone out there is enjoying the nice weather.  Will write again soon.

~All the best~ Michelle

It’s been an eventful week.  It started with me going on my first internet date.  The guy was nice enough, plenty in common to talk about, etc etc etc.  No chemistry at all, I totally wasn’t attracted to him. I let him down as easy as I know how.  God, who likes being rejected?  And who likes rejecting?  This dating stuff kinda sucks.

So, on my way home I call the guy I’ve been seeing for almost a year now and tell him how the date went.  Casually seeing, I might add.  I honestly didn’t see this coming, but he didn’t want to hear about my date at all.  And though he didn’t come right out and say that, it was pretty obvious that this topic was not his favorite.  So over the course of the week we had some serious talks, and he wants to be my boyfriend!  I like him a lot, and didn’t really want to trade him in to pursue the single life, so I was really happy to hear that.  So, we are trying on the boyfriend and girlfriend hats to see how they fit us.  No guarantees, but it could turn into something…

Of course, reviewing my list of things I’m looking for, he’s only got about half of the things on that list.  But I do have feelings for him, so that overrides the list…  I’ll let my heart lead the way and see where it takes me.

In other news, a good friend of mine recently called me up and told me he’s been painting a TON of paintings while listening to recordings of my singing.  My voice has apparently inspired him to whip out painting after painting which he has been displaying at an art exhibit, getting great reviews!  This has in turn inspired me to do more recordings.  I’ve already got a guitar teacher all lined up, and I’m getting back to what I love, MUSIC!     

I’m so excited!  It’s going to be a great summer.

~All the best~  Michelle

Well, I’m still a renter for now.  I’ve decided to look at a bunch more properties before I bid on anything.  I found one that I really loved, but wasn’t quick enough on the draw.  It got sold before I could place a bid.  So now I’m back to checking out fresh properties again.  This whole process could take awhile.

In the meantime, I have to confess that I really wish I were buying a house with the love of my life.  I’ve been fantasizing about what my dream guy would be like.  They say if you don’t know what you are looking for, how will you know if you’ve found it?  So here we go, my soul mate wish list.

First of all, he would be between the ages of 29 and 39.   Big age differences in potential mates weird me out.  I’m happy for you if it works for you, but it’s just not for me.  If he is younger than me, then he must be mature and have his stuff together.  Frat boys need not apply.

He would want to have children.  I’d really like to have at least one more, maybe two,  so my son would have someone to grow up with.  And he would want to have them fairly soon…  I’m not getting any younger.

Ideally, my man would be able to cook… but not only able to cook but be willing to share the cooking duties.  He would be happy to cook for me when I didn’t have the time or the energy.  God knows I would be willing to do this for him.

He would be outdoorsy and have a real appreciation for nature. Love for camping, hiking and swimming are a must.  Bonus points if he knows how to start a fire and catch a fish.

My perfect man would be organized, much more organized than myself.

He would have a love for music, both listening to it and performing it.

He’d like to live outside the city.  I’ve realized more and more that I don’t need the city life on a daily basis.  If I could just visit it occasionally to have a nice dinner, see a concert, or go shopping that would be good enough for me.

He would know how to have fun and could make me laugh.  I’ll make a fool of myself to get him to laugh, and while I don’t expect him to go to extreme lengths, it would be awesome if he could make light of heavy situations and crack a joke.

Anyone know this guy that I have described?

I feel like I’m finally ready to date and am testing the waters now.  I’ve put myself on an online dating site (scary).  We’ll see what happens.  If you do come across this guy, send him this direction.  I’d like to get to know him better.

~All the best~  Michelle

Well, I looked at a very lovely townhouse for sale today.  I have a little bit of money that my grandmother left me in her will, and I’m tired of paying someone else’s mortgage! With interest rates as low as they are, for around the same price I’m paying now I can get a 3 bedroom townhouse with the possibility of renting out the third bedroom.  It has a finished basement, 1 1/2 baths, backyard facing the woods, and is about 5 minutes away from where I live now.  It would be really great for my son, and I really love it!  But is it too quick?  Am I ready for this next step?

Bids are being accepted tomorrow!  Aahhh.  I always imagined I would buy my first house with the man I would be with for the rest of my life, but with the current circumstances I could feasibly pull it off all by myself.

Any advice out there?

I’ve been feeling really nostalgic lately…

My birthday came and I’ve reflected on all that I’ve been through since the last time February rolled around.  It’s been quite the amazing year! It’s been full of ups and downs… extreme ups and downs actually.  And on the other side of that year, I’m sitting here feeling more content and blissful than I can ever remember being.  If you would have told me a year ago that I’d be where I am today, feeling the way I feel, I wouldn’t have believed you.  It just proves the greatness of this quote “When you’re going through hell, keep going.”

One of my co-workers recently split from his girlfriend, so I had him and a few other people over to my house for party to help console him.  In all the advice that came out that night, one piece really stuck in my head.   One of his friends stated that his happiness always hinged on how well his relationship was going or happy his girlfriends are.  He never really took the time to learn about himself and what makes him happy, something he really needed to start doing at the age of 38.  I remember thinking that I’m so glad I started doing this at the age of 31, so by the time I’m 38 I can have a happy, healthy relationship that isn’t completely dependent on the other person as a source of my happiness.  My partner will only add to the happiness that I already have in my life. I thought that was a really great insight, and worth sharing.

Today’s post is dedicated to an old college friend who recently got in touch with me after coming across my blog.  She’s been going through many of the same things in her life as me – new baby, separation, back to work after maternity leave, single motherhood etc.  Diana, I’m so glad this blog has helped you.  Thanks to you for reminding me why I started writing it, and for inspiring me to keep it up.
Make it a great day! ~ Michelle~

I hate winter. Honestly, I don’t know why we put ourselves through this long stretch of endless winter up here in Canada. When you consider how much of the world is ridiculously warm and tropic, it really just makes no sense.
I’ve been on a seemingly neverending stretch of cold-related illnesses for the past six weeks. All I’ve wanted to do is go to bed early and eat soup. I’d write more, because I have lots to talk about, but yet again I am just craving my bed.
Hope all is well with all of you out there. I’ll write soon.
~Michelle~

I’ve been reading a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and I wanted to share its knowledge with you today.  I’m almost finished the book and it’s really helped me already in several areas of my life.  Mr. Ruiz makes a great point in the first agreement, and I’ll try to word it as eloquently as he did.  Basically he makes the point that humans are the only creatures that pay for their mistakes over and over again because we have the ability (or burden in this case) of an acute memory.  Because we can remember our mistakes we punish ourselves over and over for them by recalling the feelings of guilt or embarrassment and holding ourselves in this state of anguish.  All other creatures simply err, learn, and move on.  We should not pay for our mistakes repeatedly, there is no justice in this, the author points out.  Therefore we have no need to beat ourselves up over the mistakes we have made – learn from them and move on.  Do not let anyone else make you pay for your mistakes either by forcing you to relive these feelings of shame.  You have already paid your penalty.

 My wish for you is that you’ll read the book and benefit from its wisdom as I have.  However, if you do not have the time, please at least read the following summary, courtesy of http://www.businessballs.com/thefouragreementsdonmiguelruiz.htm

~All the best ~ Michelle

The Four Agreements is a life-changing book, whose ideas come from the ancient Toltec wisdom of the native people of Southern Mexico. The Toltec were ‘people of knowledge’ – scientists and artists who created a society to explore and conserve the traditional spiritual knowledge and practices of their ancestors. The Toltec viewed science and spirit as part of the same entity, believing that all energy – material or ethereal – is derived from and governed by the universe. Don Miguel Ruiz, born and raised in rural Mexico, was brought up to follow his family’s Toltec ways by his mother, a Toltec faith healer, and grandfather, a Toltec ‘nagual’, a shaman. Despite this, Don Miguel decided to pursue a conventional education, which led him to qualify and practice for several years as a surgeon. Following a car crash, Don Miguel Ruiz reverted to his Toltec roots during the late 1970’s, first studying and learning in depth the Toltec ways, and then healing, teaching, lecturing and writing during the 1980’s and 90’s, when he wrote The Four Agreements (published in 1997), The Mastery of Love (1999), The Four Agreements Companion Book (2000), and Prayers (2001).

Agreement 1

Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Agreement 2

Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Agreement 3

Don’t make assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Agreement 4

Always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.